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New Book! 47% off

My friend, Deb Katz, is part of something super exciting. Her friends and colleagues Diana Chapman and Jim Dethmer at The Conscious Leadership Group have written the defining book of our time on the revolution in leadership happening world wide. We’re talking leadership at every level of life, from looking in the mirror, to personal relationships and business.

I’m so excited to remind you that the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership is available for purchase on Amazon starting Thursday, 1/15/2015.

If you plan to purchase the book, please do it on Thursday the 15th as they are trying to hit the top of Amazon’s recommended book list.

ID-100103800The book is 47% off until Jan 22nd so it’s a perfect time to get it for yourself, co-workers, your team, anyone you know is interested in the leadership paradigm game changer of the 21st century.

It is available at Amazon. If you want it in paperback, click here, and if you want it in Kindle, click here.

 

They have a lion on their website and wanted to share a picture of the power of leadership. Photo compliments of papaija2008 at freestockphotos.net.

Recommitting to Intentions

It is still Jan and after my last two posts, one might think that I would be on top of my intentions. Well last week I wasn’t. I will use myself as an example here.

My intention since mid Oct has been to write a blog post every week, posting on Fri. I didn’t this week. Now at this time I could blame myself (Geez why can’t I just write the post), be critical (I am a lazy person), make up stories (See, you can’t keep an intention long term). And I ask, does that actually get me anywhere besides feeling down on myself? My answer is no, it doesn’t. So instead, I acknowledge it. “I didn’t write my blog post when I told myself I would.” I own that I didn’t do it. It is a fact. Here tone is important. Am I saying this with blame or judgement in my voice? And I am honest with myself. I don’t just go through the motions to get to the next step. I take a deep breath without the judgement or blame, a non-toxic breath. ID-100128441

Next I asked myself “Do I want to continue with this?” When I said, “Yes,” I recommitted and am now taking action by writing and posting. It is that simple when you or I step away from our intentions. Try it out and see what happens.

 

Image curtesy of nirots at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net.

Intentions

How do you want to bring in your new year? There can be a lot of hype around it, celebrations, anticipation of the first kiss of the new year.

I have a friend who touches everything she has. She calls it taking inventory. A great way to clear away what is not useful or wanted, in order to make space for new. This can go for physical items and I also want to bring attention to beliefs that aren’t serving you. What do you want to keep and what do you want to move into.

New Years is a time of resolutions. And often these resolutions can be lost in a week or a month. I suggest that you set intention(s) or make a resolution AND to then determine a small step that you can take every day toward that goal. Here are the top ten resolutions according to Time; I added a small step as an example in parenthesis . And then once you have success you can increase it.

  • Lost Weight and Get Fit (walk for 2 minutes a day)
  • Quit Smoking (smoke one less cigarette)
  • Learn Something New (learn a new word in a different language)
  • Eat Healthier and Diet (have a healthy snack)
  • Get Out of Debt and Save Money (prioritize it, ask yourself each day when you go to the coffee shop if you want the coffee more or the getting out of debt and saving money)
  • Spend More Time with Family (give a family member a really good hug)
  • Travel to New Places (get out a certain amount of money that you typically spend on treats/ coffee and put a small amount into your traveling fund each day, even 25 cents)
  • Be Less Stressed (take a deep breath)
  • Volunteer (give your time by giving someone an appreciation)
  • Drink Less (drink one less drink than you normally do when you go out)

Homework if you choose: what is your intention for the new year and what is one small step to take towards that goal?

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to
discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional
information to guide thinking and behavior.

EI is like IQ with emotions. How do you know what you are feeling (noticing body sensation)? How do you communicate that with others (verbal, non verbal)? Do you share with words or with actions (telling someone vs giving them a cold shoulder)? Can you label accurately what you are feeling (anger vs sadness)? Is there space between stimulus and your response (do you react immediately, take a breath and determine the next course of action)?

This isn’t something that is typically taught. In fact many of us are taught not to listen to ourselves. For example, “You just ate, you can’t be hungry again,” You just went to the bathroom, you can wait,” “Don’t cry, it’s ok, it’s not that bad.”

Homework: There are a ton of tests and quizzes for you to determine your EI. Take one and determine where you are, what do you want to change, what are your strengths?145H

 

Layers of Change

45H

Layers upon layers. I think this is such a beautiful image of layers.

Yes it is a tree and we have the same layers. Some may be thoughts or what we have heard that we then turn into beliefs. Some are negative thoughts. Some are positive thoughts to negate the others. Perhaps events that have hurt us, that we haven’t gotten over, that we hold onto.

Yet in order to grow, we need to shed those layers. Some happens naturally. By growing new layers the old peels away. Some people may think they can do it on their own and some may need or want some help. And it is okay to ask for help. I think most of us do not live in a vacuum. Help can give guidance to how to peel away the layers, determining what layers you want peeled away vs what you want to keep and is supportive of your growth, and even having witness to the peeling can be quite powerful.

The end of the year is a great time to look at what you want to shed. What supports you in your growth and what hinders you? Take a look.

Thanksgiving

Last week was Thanksgiving. It is a day to appreciate and share in the bounty of food and company.
What about the other 364 days of the year? I challenge you to give thanks every day at least once. To give to yourself, to someone else, to a stranger on the street, to an acquaintance, to a coworker, to a spouse or partner, to a close friend. To find something that you are thankful for, that you are grateful for, that you appreciate in your life, that is a blessing. The wonderful thing about giving thanks is that it can come in many forms- verbal and nonverbal- in song, with a look, sending love, by the phone, in person. Be creative in ways to give thanks to those in your life. Even if you just acknowledge to yourself the ways that they have touched you and changed your life.
I am a very visual person and enjoy the different colors that people wear or put together. I am great at sharing with those close to me and giving them appreciations. I have recently in the last several month started sharing with people that I don’t even know. People that I pass on the street. I have found it quite freeing, instead of just thinking it, I openly share. And often times I am met with the other person expressing gratitude that I shared and even if they give me a dirty look or snarl at me in some way, I feel better having shared.

SONY DSCChallenge yourself to give freely. I have found that it feeds my soul as well as the other person. There is not a shortage that I am aware of, so have fun with it.

 

 

 

 

Appreciation for use of this photo.

Sat availability

I want to share with people that I am now in the office on Sat for both coaching and therapy. So if the week is hard to schedule, feel free to schedule on the weekend. People often like having more time before or after, feel relaxed, and enjoy the Sat appointments. Call me at 503-961-3141 for more information or to set up an appointment.

Mistakes

I am reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I am about 1/2 way through. One thing that struck me was the idea of admitting mistakes. I may reframe that, to admitting and owning what I have done. I am not advocating for blaming either self or others for their actions. Owning has a different feel than blam145He. If you can take responsibility for your actions, letting go of judgement, room is created for change.

And with therapy and coaching, that is the usually the goal. Changing something that isn’t working. We can get caught up in blame. I just uncovered an enlightened bully. She has been mean. She judged. She was rude. She beat me up. She repressed. Yet that cycle only has so many pathways, the conversation is the same circular, roundabout, never ending spiral. Can I admit that she has been around, loving her as she has been, knowing that she was there, realizing how this has affected relationships. And moving forward, noticing, being aware, shifting, sharing. By admitting to my friend134H, Deb Katz, that I had not shared my feelings with her, we were able to connect on a deeper level.

By admitting mistakes you admit that you are human. You bring closeness to the one you are sharing, you are being vulnerable by opening. This seems to be a big one in intimate relationships. I think because it turns into blame. How to talk about something that happened as fact. The same way I would say and accept, “Today is            .” Own it and whatever feelings that come up and to look at possibilities.

Exploration for this week: in what areas are you blaming yourself. Can you take responsibility and own what you have done. Share it with the other person.

 

Photos by Gratisography

Living as Art

I was talking with some people recently about strengths and being a visionary and an artist. I started thinking about art: life as art, the art of living, being art. Which is where the idea for this blog came in.

ID-100203610I was thinking about what to name it. There is already an Art of Living Foundation. I settled into Living as Art. What if we are a masterpiece in the creation? We are the art. We are the focus which looks different in different light, in different settings. We are not stagnant. We are not finished. We are evolving and changing.

 

ID-100146460Painters can start, paint over, cover up, change what they are working on. Aren’t we doing that all the time? I have
the intention to continue looking inward at the exploration which is my life, of my patterns, of what I create in my life or not. I adjust myself, I shift from stuck to possibilities, I express.

Exploration for thisID-100209562 week is to check out what looks like an amazing example of this called Exhibit: Growth. It is interactive. Art is created from your responses. ID-10047285How awesome is that?

Photos from Free Digital Photos