Contradiction, according to Google: “a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another.” Opposites, same source: “having a position on the other or further side of something; facing something, especially something of the same type.”
Sometimes we can have ideas, feelings, thoughts that feel totally at odds with each other. fFor example I can either accept the situation as it is and do nothing or reject it completely and make major changes, I can either have security or passion, I can either win or lose this argument, I can either be rigid or be in the flow. And we think, “How can these possible co-exist?” We feel stuck.
Try something out with me. In one hand put one of your statements. Feel it there. Does it have any movement, texture, color, sound? Be with it right now in this moment. Now in your other hand put the other statement. Notice the same. Now can your two hands holding these statements move and be in existence in each hand at the same time? Hold both simultaneously and notice what happens. Once you notice ease in this, perhaps have your two hands interact together. Move them closer together then farther apart. Have one hand try on the movement, feeling of the other hand and vice versa. Do you notice anything different in your experience of the two appearing contradictory statements?
Image curtesy of Ambro and taesmileland from FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I was talking with some people recently about strengths and being a visionary and an artist. I started thinking about art: life as art, the art of living, being art. Which is where the idea for this blog came in.
I was thinking about what to name it. There is already an Art of Living Foundation. I settled into Living as Art. What if we are a masterpiece in the creation? We are the art. We are the focus which looks different in different light, in different settings. We are not stagnant. We are not finished. We are evolving and changing.
Painters can start, paint over, cover up, change what they are working on. Aren’t we doing that all the time? I have
the intention to continue looking inward at the exploration which is my life, of my patterns, of what I create in my life or not. I adjust myself, I shift from stuck to possibilities, I express.
Exploration for this week is to check out what looks like an amazing example of this called Exhibit: Growth. It is interactive. Art is created from your responses. How awesome is that?
Photos from Free Digital Photos
Are you someone who sees themselves as a fix it project or sees other people as fix it projects? I see this a lot in couples therapy. “If you can just change that one thing, then I could be happy.” “If only you didn’t do that, my life would be so much easier.” Then when one thing is fixed something else needs fixing, you are ready to move on to the next thing. “Sure you pick up your dirty socks, what about doing some dishes/ more cleaning/ having more/ less sex.” The list can go on and on and on…
I also see this in individual therapy. “If I just changed (fill in the blank) then things would be better.” “If I didn’t do this annoying thing then I would like myself better.” Once some of the pounds come off, you want more off another area. You can always find something wrong.
What if (play along with me for a bit)- what if you/other people weren’t fix it projects? What if you/they are whole, just as they are? You may want to make changes and that is okay and you can still be loveable just are you/ they are. This may be a stretch, because I think we are taught to see what is wrong. Remember the two pictures and you had to see what didn’t match. This is how we often see ourselves in comparison to others, or our partner in comparison to other people’s partners. Play with this a bit and notice when you want to fix, change, adjust you or someone else and notice how you react to this.
What are some of the essential skills for fabulous relationships? Come find out on February 25th at Umpqua Bank in the NE.
DATE: February 25th, 2010
TIME : 5:30-7pm
WHERE : Umpqua Bank
1448 NE Weidler
COST : Free; light snacks and beverages provided
Every Wednesday from 6-7:30 I run a group that focuses on tools that I think are great for improving relationships. It is interactive, dynamic, and fun.
DATE: Every Wednesday
WHERE: Owl’s Nest North
COST: sliding scale $15-$25 per person