Marc Andrews and Caroline Resari to conduct a 10 session relationship preparation workshop for the GLBTQ Community
Join us for a 10 session workshop helping you resolve past relationships and preparing for the love that you want. This will be a transformational experience that opens doors to the love that you are looking for.
7:00 PM to 8:30 PM Mondays evenings starting February 14th 2011
The Workshop Format includes:
• Lectures/presentations supported visually with the latest in presentation graphics, about the purpose and dynamics of your relationship.
• Individual reflection and recording using the “Calling in the one: 7 weeks to attract the love of your life” and “Attracting the Love You Want.”
•Experiential exercise to bring a deeper understanding of how you interact with others.
•Demonstrations of communication skills.
•Ability to write on a secure Message Boards, which can act as support between sessions as well as after the group, is over.
Please visit our meet up site:
http://www.meetup.com/Attracting-the-love-that-you-want/
January 24, 2011
What is something that you are doing today that you are excited about?
I think we tend to have our “to do” lists. We have things we think we “should” do or “have to” do. Are any of these things you want to do? Are they taking you a step closer to your overall life goals? I hear people in my counseling and coaching practice speak of this. Are these thing just something you are doing until…? Or that you have to wait for something until you can do that. What if you added some excitement to that “to do” list. Do something in a different way. Reframe what you think you have to do. What if you choose to do it instead of thinking it was something you should do or that someone else wants you to do?
What if it was a choice? I choose to take out the compost today or I want to do this because I think it will make my partner happy. Or maybe I want to take it out because then I will finally have it off the list (some of you may love to check things off) and I can stop complaining about it.
What if you did something on the “to do” list from a different position, responding to e-mails while standing up or kneeling? I could take the compost out while dancing over to it or perhaps changing my pace (fast and slow) or level (tall and short).
What if you added some excitement by singing a song while you do it, perhaps one you make up about what you are doing. I used to work with kids with special needs and noticed that if I sang a song especially about what we were doing (tying shoes, wheelbarrowing, putting on a coat), they tended to do it more easily with a smile on their face which made my life easier as well. I am not aware of a compost song, so I would have to make that one up.
Accents can also be fun. Try speaking in a different accent, as a way to change the way you think about what you’re doing. I could speak in a French accent as I go to the compost and add a bit of spice to the endeavor.
Feel free to respond with your ideas of how you add excitement?
January 10, 2011
Happy New Year to all.
I facilitated a class last night on creating Life Resolutions. It is a simple way to look and prioritize what is most important to you right now. The idea is that you are on your deathbed and someone asks if your life was a success. What is your answer? A full out, “YES?” Perhaps it is a, “Sort of,” or possibly a “No.” First write out the main reason your life was not a success. Then add four more reasons. Now turn those into wishes, “For my life to have been a complete success, I wish I’d…”
Notice what comes up as you are writing these. Old stories about who you are as a person. For example, “I am just a procrastinator, I can’t get anything done.” Or, “I’m too old to go back to school.” Perhaps it is more of an idea that you have to first do this before you can do what you really want. Maybe some feelings come up, sadness that you haven’t done it or anger at yourself or someone else. Fear may come up as you put something out there that could be a challenge that could take you out of your comfort zone. Welcome those, appreciate them, accept them, and then continue on.
Now turn those wishes into things that you have done such as, “My life is a complete success because I…” Next is to turn them into the current, “I now enjoy…” Lastly, create action steps. It may be a smaller action step such as wondering about the next step. Wondering does count as a step. Or something bigger like giving a talk about a topic you love or applying to a class that excites you. Appreciate yourself for taking a step, no matter how big or small.
The workshop was based on 5 Wishes by Gay Hendricks. The website is http://www.5wishesbook.com/wishes/index.php if you want to check it out. The book is a relatively quick read with great examples. Feel free to post your Life Resolutions here, I would love to hear them.
Happy creating!
January 4, 2011
New Year’s is almost here. And most people set New Year’s Resolutions. And these resolutions often tend to be forgotten or put on the side in a month or two or three. How about a change to that of so familiar pattern. Instead of a New Year Resolutions, what about Life Resolutions? You may ask what is that exactly. What if you are at the end of your life adn someone asks if your life was a success. What is your answer? Will it be a full out “YES” or “mostly” or perhaps even a “no.” I will be leading a class Jan 3rd at MCC Portland from 6:30 to 8 pm based on Gay Hendricks book, Five Wishes. We may continue depending how far we get on the following Monday, same time, same place.
December 27, 2010
We approach the end of the year and it is a great time to look back and appreciate what has happened in the past year. Take a few minutes to look back over the last year, what have you accomplished? What have you changed or maybe what are you in the midst of changing. Maybe you have changed jobs, had a baby, gotten into a new relationship, gotten out of a relationship you didn’t want to be in, done something that you have never done before. It could be something big such as taking a vacation to somewhere you never thought you would go or hiking a huge mountain by yourself. It could also be something else, such as cleaning your home, cleaning out clutter, cooking something new. And don’t compare to what other people have done. Don’t minimize what you have done just because “it’s not a big deal.” You may have a small success, maybe a big one, AND it is a success nonetheless. Notice those things and give your self come kudos. See where you have been and where you are now. Celebrate yourself.
December 20, 2010
I would like to give thanks to Gay and Katie Hendricks. I am currently in a two year training with them and they are such generous people I would like to thank them, as much of the material come from ideas that they have shared either in person or in books. They are amazing therapists (both individual and couples) as well as life coaches. They have brought their plork (play and work) to a multitude of people. Their seminars are not just for people who are therapists or coaches, but for anyone who wants to live full out in a conscious way. If you want to find out more information about them check out their website at Hendricks.com.
I am wondering who in your life has been a mentor? Someone who has helped you along the way. Someone who has given gifts, either intellectual, emotional, spiritual, monetary, support, love, advice. Think of all the people who have been in your life who have had some part in where you are today. These people may still be in your life, maybe they are gone. Take a moment to thank them. Are they still around and you could thank them person, on the phone, by card. Maybe they are gone (either you have lost contact or maybe they died), appreciate what they gave you. Did an ex-lover teach you something that you can look back through the hurt and see that without that experience you may not have learned? Maybe a relative taught you something about how to be in the world. Maybe you can send them a telepathic thank you card. What has each experience taught you, what has each person helped you in learning? If you are willing, thank and give appreciations to the people who you have learned from, even if the teaching was painful in the moment.
December 2, 2010
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I don’t know if you celebrate it or not. I was writing a friend and realized that the United States has one official day to give thanks. It is a day dedicated to giving thanks to others. Hmmm, one day. One day. What if we gave thanks every day? What if we gave thanks and really meant it? I mean the difference between saying thanks to someone as you pass them or on the way out the door or in the middle of a conversation when the server fills up the water glass or brings the food versus stopping, breathing, and sharing the thanks, taking a moment to really give thanks. I think of a giving a present, do you give a present and toss it at the person, hoping they will catch it, or place it on the side hoping they will see it later, or do you hand the present over, making eye contact, waiting to see their reaction before moving on to the next thing?
What if every day were a day to give thanks or appreciation? How could that change the world?
Practice for today (or every day), let’s take a breath today and slow down our appreciations. Really savor it. Give thanks and savor the feeling, the words, the sounds. It may be thanks for something you have done, something someone else has done, maybe characteristics, or achievements, or physical characteristics, maybe the weather, something in nature, something made by people, something you ate, something someone said, something small, something big. The possibilities are endless. Just start somewhere. Let’s change the world one appreciation/ thanks at a time.
November 24, 2010
I sit here thinking how wet and cold it is outside here in Portland. I am wondering about the cycle of seasons- growth of spring into summer, autumn as the days getting shorter and the hibernation of winter. Modern amenities have helped with being able to do more, stay up later, keep warm.
I am wondering what you do to rejuvenate your battery. In the midst of the weather, the flurry of activity in November and December, what do you do to take care of yourself? I have talked with a lot of people who get caught up in the rush, doing things, meeting with friends, going to parties, buying present. Or the flip side, hunkering down and waiting until it is all over. This seems to be an either or. Are there ways to be in the moment, take a breath, take care of yourself.
Some suggestions for slowing down- eating each bite of food slowly, taking a long, deep breath, appreciating something in the midst of whatever is going on, have some down time (read a book, take a walk, take a bath, sit in the dark). I welcome other suggestions for what you do to take care of yourself during this season.
November 10, 2010
There are a lot of people out there who want to please everyone. Or at least please most others. These people are chemeleons who change throughout the day in ways they think others will like them or what they do better. These people please others and may lose track of who they are because they are pleasing others. Or put aside what is important to them because others “may” not like it.
Is there a way to please others and not lose yourSelf? You can share pleasure with others and hold onto your values and own sense of self. If you are seeking approval and looking to the outside at the expense of yourself, you are chipping away at your true self. Look inside and ask what do you really want, not just what you “think” the other person “may” want.
When you interact with others, notice if you are putting any of your values and wants on the side while the other person is front and center. On the flip side, notice if others may be putting aside their wants because they think it may please you.
November 1, 2010
We are in an age when knowledge is at our fingertips. We can turn on the computer and find an answer to any question we may have. It can be an addiction to know, and to know quickly. If there is not a computer around, chances are someone has a smart phone and find out now. Or checking e-mail, facebook, social network sites to see if someone has written back or just to see what is going on. Have you ever felt the rush of not getting to look it up or check and thinking when is the next chance?
What if we let go of knowing and became comfortable with not knowing. Try it out; say, “I don’t know.” How does it feel
The idea of not knowing everything seems freeing to me. I will never know everything. It leaves a vast space for me to move in. I think that is where curiousity comes into play. If we know everything, there is nothing to be curious about because we already know the answer.
Play with saying, “I don’t know” and see how comfortable or uncomfortable it is. First say it to yourself with no one else around. Try it on with different voices- opera, deep, shrill. Try accenting different words, different punctuation at the end. Are you up for saying it out loud to someone else? Play with it and notice what happens.
I will be at a training so will not be writing next week. Have a great week.
October 20, 2010
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